Saturday, June 4, 2011

teeny-weeny bloody me~

yeah..i want dis thing 2 be hardly read by u guys..sorie 4 using dis font color..actually i thnk i'll neva wrote on dis again aftr d hard situation,bt i thnk its not wrong 4 me 2 do so bcoz its ryte...nowadays,thngs happened 2 fast until im not realise it.aftr da 34 days living without him,i thought dat i hve being d winner,bt still its juz d outside,,not inside...d pain is still there evnthough it is my fault...exact on 3rd may,aftr comin bck from RFC,n aftr being lecture by my beloved sys ana,i quickly declared dat thng wit him.i juz wnt 2 do it fast,say it fast n......its hard 2 be tell..yeah,,obviously i still love him bt wut i do is juz for our own benefits..we had 2 focus in studies first n achieve wut we really want 2 b...i say it 2 him so fast..very fast indeed bcoz i cant hold back my tears anymore..i dont wnt him 2 hear..not evn once..n now i admit dat women r alwys being conquered by her emotions n dats wut happened 2 me dat day...i say without im thnkng wut it is...stupid of me ryte...such a moron 2 do dat thng 2wrds their beloved ones..when i got bck 2 my dorm,i thought i can handle it..yeah i know i can control when its d tyme 4 me 2 sleep,,,yup im lost!!!i cant sleep bcoz usually b4 sleep i'll txt or msgin not dat nyte..n aftr dat..n myb 4ever...its so pain..juz imagine if u r on my shoes,sleeping in an alone room without hvin ur room8,livin far from ur beloved parnts,wit d so unbelieveable+annoying studnts at there n hving no 1 2 dpnds on 2....wut would u really feel????n i decided 2 call him..such a dumb of me 2 call him bck aftr sayin 2 him dat theres no relationshp n no more contct 2 each still i call him....n his fren said dat hes already slept,bt i asked him 2 wake him up..n he decline my call..he decline it....he decline it....he decline it...n he shut off his phone..omg...dat was really a terrible nyte 4 me...n im neva cry so much lyke dat..i dunno on wut tyme i slept n its really hard 4 me 2 open my eyes on d next morning...mmg gilela...evry second i still remember bout him..bout our past moments..evrything i do,d memory will juz came n flashed back on wut we had i know d intention 4 me 2 hve dat condition is not nobody fault..its my willing...2 do it for d only HIM...where im juz realise it 4 wut i done b4 dis is really beloved sys ana also had said 2 me dat "ajie,,x slh kalo kte nk suke sbnyk mne laky yg kte nk sbb i2 ap yg brknan pd mte bnd 2 akn jdi slh kalo kte wt sumthng ngn suke kite kt org 2"....when she said dat,sumthng really zapping in my heart...sumthng undescribeable...n when i said 2 her how 2 ovrcome d feeling of always remember of him...she juz said dis "kte kalo da xkapel akn jdik org yg bosn,xtaw nk wt kte xleh nk overcome,tp kne replace bnd 2 ngn sumthng else which is HIS BOOK...n yeah i admit it dat aftr dat,every nite i will alwys read d Quran b4 i sleep n replace d thing dat im always hug with Quran too.d bear is still sleep wit its different now..yeah myb hes upset wit me bt thnks a lot 4 wut u had done on dat nye...its really givin me d spirit 2 leave dat whole thing...really2 open up my eyes 2 see d reality...n now im quite strong bt ist not 100% full yet..yela hw come u can 4get such a long-quite-lasting love dat u had ever xperience...ag2 mse xam is juz around d sufferin..sgt3...tiap mse nk nges..i felt so gembeng on dat alhmdulillah i manage 2 do it..aftr d incident,mny thngs seems 2 chnge in my lyfe...esp my phone...i got 2 phones bt neither of em i use xcept for my suboh alarm..haha...hey at least its still workin n useful 2 its master...hehe...until there r a few frens of mine dat scold me 4 not replyin their msg...sorie la kwn2 ku esp dayah,rara,zaza,sasa,cark,yong,ustad,cbz,acp,su-rty,farah n spe ag nth coz i dont hve any credit 2 rep u back...slalonye rjin toup bt now its not important now there is 1 thng dat i feared most is d prson dat got d same face lyke him...adoi..mmg xleh jmpela..dala sme klas seni...1 grup lak 2..bkn nk ske kt dy tp dy mmg easily leh wt aq trigt blek kt him...mmg kne tbhkn atyla..seriously, if he wnts me 2 show 2 him on how 2 colour d drwing,,i'll juz pretendin dat i dont know n ask him 2 ask others....dont ask me la!!!!!!!!!!!!ISH!!!i thnk dats all from me...

P\S:no 1 can ever replace u..dats my promise bt juz let d tyme being mke both of us matured n achive wut we really wnt..i hope u understnd dear...n sory 4 makin u buy dat phone juz 2 use it 2 msg wit me..n pliz 4give of my wrongdoing...

Friday, April 29, 2011


finally i get d chance 2 write on dis aftr a few months.n i write dis bcoz of him.wntd me 2 do dis badly.ok2 i'll do it 4 u dear.aftr d anugrh's day,i went bck 2 taipng.urm.b4 dat.d anugrh's is very AMAZING! bcoz i had d chnce 2 meet my frens,teachers n of course.........hehehe.i got 2 meet 'em d nite b4 d event bcoz mun n man wnt 2 hve d ride 2 muar.when we're on d front gte of mjsc muar,mun n me started 2 scream lyke crazy coz its UNBELEIVEABLE!when we reached at d side of surau,i saw a grup of grls running+screaming 2wrds me.da mcm trbring2 kt ats tnh yg hmpap aq lak 2.skit2.then they brought me 2 d pum stalls.n i saw him coming.OMG!da la lom mndy,mke brminyk.i felt lyke wnt 2 go 2 othr side bt nani hold me very tightly 2 stay there.ish!he face me n i saw his smiling face.apa aq nk wt nie.i saw a little jnggut at his chin.comel!cm ustaz aq.hehe.he juz smiling n we had a very short conversation bcoz of me dat being very shy.i asked 'em i mean d girls 2 gimme some water but suddenly hes d 1 who bought d water.sirap,juz a gud choice wit its coldly ice.hehe.then, isaw d budak kcik.hes juz stare at men wit his shocky face.pity of u.i wnt 2 wave at him bt nvm.(tkot kne mrh).hehe.then i had 2 go bck coz my fam startd 2 get mad.n as 4 2morrow,i woke up l8 n he had miscll me wit so mny tymes.d evnt start at 9 bt i had juz wnt 2 get my bath on 8+.xpe smpt2.siap mmg lju gler.n i manage 2 get there on 9 sumthng.nervous.thnx 2 k nureen 2 accompany me in.i supposed 2 sit d line juz behind his.n ALHAMDULILLAH theres an empty space bside iza.d 3rd line of i lyke dat seat coz i can peek at him quietly witout him noticing it.usually kalo dlu2,aq jep yg tgk2 now its different.brani da 2 look back.huh.gatal.hehehe.liitle by little,my missness 2wrds him getting cured.then aftr da evnt,we walk 2gether 2 phys corner.n he sat in front of me.i donno wut 2 say n i cant keep my face from smiling.when they wnt 2 t8 my pic,i asked 'em 2 wait coz its sooo tired 2 juz smile.i hit my cheeks wit my fingers 2 relax d muscles. n u knoe wut sum1 said dat im CHUBBY!!!!gram btol.rse cm gmok ble org ckp cm2.ish!actually (mlu+xtaw nk wt pe+bngang!)he also gimme a choc.d cdbury blckforest.YUMMY!then we had 2 separate 4 d zuhur prayers n i want 2 sleep!!!!pnt la.i woke upon 3 o'clock n wut a huge tyme dat i had been wasting.hurriedly,i went 2 c noer's house n help her wit her stuff n i had 2 do sumthng 2 meet him.i asked him 2 meet me at blik grakan along wit dayah n c noer.he brought a few foods.when we juz strted 2 eat,my mum n my sys(she drive d car so fst 2 not let me meet him).jht gler.i juz want 2 cry when i know they're there.add up, i dont evn hve d tyme 2 spend wit him+2 teach him d addmths.i learn sumthng from here; when u get d chnce,dont waste it n dont sleep!
n when we're 2 xcited wit sumthng,we'll hve such a short tyme 2 feel it.....nvm.....smue nie ad hikmahnye.
2 feel d 2 G!!!!!!!=)

Friday, February 4, 2011

hepy ever after=)

dearie ******,
dis is specially written 4 u..
all dis startin d end of last year.when i dont hve hp(which is doom in d male toilt of mrsm muar),he msg me in fb 2 contct him.he said its urgent.on dat tyme,im startin 2 feel not lyke him as much as when we're f1 bcoz its enough 2 hve d pain 2 lyke him dis past started 2 give up.when i get d msg,im thinkin twicely.yes or no 2 contct him.n i made d decision.i used my dad hp.n all d precious moments started at dat,at 1st i juz cant believe it n myb he was juz teasin' me.i dont believe it 100% d love 2 him started 2 raise back.huhuhu.when i reached mktb,evrything is chnge n super-duper hepy momnts fill my lyfe at mktb evnthough its juz only a month.when i borrow mimi's hp 2 cll my sista,i coincidntly type his num 2 juz know whether he bring his hp or not.when i heard his voice,i quickly decline it.x brani aq.rse cm butterflies in my stomch.haha.n after dat he call me 4 1 hour.such a long conversation 4 beginning.n d days after dat,he started 2 talk wit me.walk wit me.share anythin wit me.its very weird one ever imagine dat he'll b lyke dat.n 4 sure i lyke it.hehe.n 4 d 1st tyme,he jog wit me.not a really jog.we cht bout anythin dat relate wit us.when its reachin' d last week,i wnt 2 do mny things wit him.lyke playin 1st,i thought he didnt come 2 play wit me.when i asked a boy 2 ask him,he im playin d handball wit my girls.n then im feelin sumthng dat said i hve 2 check whether he came or not.when i look,hes not there bt hes on d way bck 2 soccer.n i shout his nme vry3 loud.yeah, its true bout peeps who born on d same day will hve d instinct 2 each other.n finally we got 2 play 2gether.such a very awesome 4 d cross country,wit d weather as sad as me,both of us manage 2 run 2gther evnthough its rainin' cats n dogs.hehe.till when dat i can xperience dat momnts again???its juz not fair bt i know theres sumthng hidden behind of wut had hppen.i dont blame d faith n destiny.n 4 d lst tyme we met,u know where ryte dear?its juz 2 lil bit of finally i manage 2 eat in front of him witout shyness lyke b4,sit beside him while watchin' our story.hes juz 2 gntle n absolutely he didnt touch me even 4 a single one.d way he treat me mkes me feel lyke on d clouds nine.huhu.over ryte.n d part i dont wnt 2 b occur is when we had 2 separate n go home.OMG!i try 2 hide my tears bcoz i dont wnt 2 cry in front of him n his frens.i juz stare at his face 4 d lst tyme.there're many advices n things dat he said 2 me.wit his saddy face.URGH!i juz cant look at his face on dat tyme.when i had 2 go,i dont wnt 2 look him again.i juz wnt 2 wlk straight witout lookin back.but i cant.n when i look back,hes lookin me 2.wit his sad face.he kept wavin his hand 2 me.n i can see dat hes lookin at me until im vanished from his mind was blnk.n i dunno wut 2 say n do.juz keep silent until i reached alhmdulillah at least i manage 2 meet him. somethng here 4 u dear. 'ALLAH BERI APE YG KITE PRLU,TP BKN AP YG KTE NK'.n dats mean a month bout u n me is d need of both of us.n ap yg lps2 2 adlh ap yg kte nak.xpe.let bygone b bygone.hope u undrstnd dis dear.myb dis is d lst typin from me b4 leavin u.u said dat im budak perak n jirn selngor.n of course air mngglegak.n 4 ur information,i'll bring ur beruang.hahaha.i'll never 4get all those words from u.hehe.last bt not least,ILU!!!!!!!!!

Tuesday, November 9, 2010

b a gud listener=)

im listenin 2 some1 xpressd feelin...hurm...xtaw nk bgi feed bck ape kt dy..argh!help me
salam..hi..a long tyme no see.huhu.sorie 4 evry1 who followin dis blog.hurm.1stly,
bcoz im already finish my PMR!but not receivin da result have 2 pray to da only one,ALLAH.2 gve all da PMRians da good n btter result which is straight 8A' on my hols now bcoz we get da a week early 2 go bck home.i cant bear 2 leave my frens,teachers,n all da things in dat school.its really frustratin.its bcoz i have da love one there.dont make a -tve thnking ea.its not bout boyfie,bt its bout my dear sista.shes f5 n we always spend tyme 2gther n it looks lyke we're in da same age.hehe.evry1 kept callin us twins bcoz we do hve da sme face bt not da same attittude.shes so hyperactive n im da we do close 2 each othr.dunno how.n shes da strongest reason y im really sad n dont want 2 leave da school.shes alwys gve her opinions n useful advices. she alwys guide me. n startin from dat, i feel really need n loved at da school. its not dat evry1 hate me. NO!. bt i dont find da real n truely+pure 2 close with me. its not dat my frens hve da reasons 2 b fren with me. its not. sng kte xjmpe yg kte leh luahkn smue. hurm PHEW!easy in malay.=).bt now we're still cntct by hp n dreams..haha.i keep dreamin of her.haha.

but mostly, when im bck receivin a shock news. very shock 4 mela. da 1 dat i love or admire from f1,had fulfill his promises. he told me his feeling 2wrds me. bt i juz cnt accept it.bcoz y? im da 1 who alwys wnt him.haha.mse 2 miang skrg sopn sntun.haha. bt i told him 2 gimme some tyme 2 accpt dis sudden news. n now we r msgin 2 know more bout each othr n hope this will lasts 4evr without trpesong ke arh yg xdiizinkn olehNya.hehe.i want 2 put his face here. bt until get his permissionla. dats all. LOVE U!

Saturday, March 20, 2010

kiss my blog GOODBYE~ wanna 2 story bout my rebel 2 go out wif her..i mean 1st my mum, doesnt allow me 2 go...then when i coax her, she juz allow me...huhu...MISSION COMPLETE!...then met her at carre4 n we go 2 square 1...@ 1st dunno where 2 go...we look at some blouses n shirts...she wanna give me sumthng for my bufdieee...n i also had 2 give sumthng 2 bcoz we r juz neighbiee in our 26 feb n shes 27 feb...hoho..then, wanna 2 go 2 kbox, but its full n we juz find some altrnative 2 entrtain ourslves...then, we go to sumthng dat we cm cll it 'gift shop??'...shes searching 4 prfume which i dont hve any attrction into it...n im juz wanderin' n met wif some doughnuts..i mean doughnuts keychains..n also buns...aftr i had buy it, she still hvnt finish dcide on which prfume...still sniffing dat n dis...n then aftr da opinion from me n da lady in da shop, at last she choose the blck BOOS! not BOSS ok...hahaha...kne tpu..then we go 2 rengit cafe ea??x igtla nmenye...we chtting n gossipin..about her...not her...her anothr person...then we go 2 shop 4 her gift...i bought her a brown-flowering-leafing wedges..shes really into it...n i can see some gleaming in her eyes...hahaha...then we go 2 cloths shop 2 buy somethng 4 me...we search searc n search..then manage 2 get a not so jacket-grey-red buttons...thnx a lt!!!
i'll never 4get dat..huhu...nnty o out ag ea...

Wednesday, March 17, 2010


huhu..comel x...actually da mls nk 2lis kt blog nie but some1 ask me 2 do it...thnx a lot ya many-many-many things 2 tell...i tell da bad 1 first k...its bout da prson dat i love...i never n ever think he's fake...he never exist in this world...but when im keep thinking-thinking n thinking, i realised dat was my fault, juz shoooo dat thing away from my life...(msty xphm kn, so wt2 phm jela)...

then, its bout my trip 2 penang 2 send my sis..shes study there aftr 2 suffering+death years without her at dublin...i start my hols on friday n my mom took me n we straight 2 penang on dat day 2...MISERABLE GLER!!! ngan beg aq yg bsr gdbak+brg2 kt dlm kete ue...then i juz campak my outing card n when we reached at the pondok guard..OMG!!!...where is it??...mcm Lost of the World...huhu...lastly, mnge 2 get it..PHEW!..then went 2 rawang n met my dad n both of my grannies there...i didnt chnge my clothes, coz my mum didnt IRON IT!!! xkn aq nk pki bju+2dung+jeans x beriron?!?!?! juz wt mke tmbok cine while pple strt looking strangely 2 me...tyme 2 cm rse nga pki costume barney n frens smpi dyorg tgk aq cm2...then proceed da journey n went 2 pnng...but b4 dat we went 2 my mum's bau2 bacang..uncle norman wif his family....his house+family is superb!!coz they have many comics+korean cds+cat...hohoho...mmg menepati citarse aq...i didnt sleep coz 2 finish reading all da comics+da korean cds...n bout da food...sdp gler...but cant tell u what is it...huhu...then we sleep ovrnite n cntnue 2 pnng...when we reached at the pnng bridge, evrybody starts 2 scream(my sis,my mum n me)..."Owh! jmbtn pnng!"..."BSR GLER!!!"...."yg mne mak??(dats me)"...mmg havoc gler...n othr pple kept looking at us myb coz of our keterujaan....then went 2 my sis's fren's house...okla...nothng much...n then we went 2 baling, mum is da 1st one out of da car n quickly find the buah pala...i dont like the jeruk n sorts of it...rse cm prgnnt dad 2...we juz watching them tasting da jeruk...huhu...then we went home...

daala...wnt 2 proceed wif my work...hope u'll b statisfied reading this thing ye cik fatinieka..n i lyke da buttons..huhu..

Saturday, January 30, 2010


assalamualaikum...its been so long i didnt write in this blog..i should bck home at 28th dis but the HEA n HEP doesnt let it..isyh! geram...i wanna 2 go bck bcoz i wanna 2 follow snding my prnts at klia...they went 2 ireland 2 bring bck my sis n mkn angin kt sne...sdeyh gler nk maty...rse mcm idop nie not prfct without them..its hardla...lucky me dat i dont stay at home...but now tgh dlm krinduan yg dad miss both of you...!!!!!!...

P/s : no mood 2 write anythng...2morrow i'll go bck 2 mrsm...bubye