Saturday, June 4, 2011

teeny-weeny bloody me~

yeah..i want dis thing 2 be hardly read by u guys..sorie 4 using dis font color..actually i thnk i'll neva wrote on dis again aftr d hard situation,bt i thnk its not wrong 4 me 2 do so bcoz its ryte...nowadays,thngs happened 2 fast until im not realise it.aftr da 34 days living without him,i thought dat i hve being d winner,bt still its juz d outside,,not inside...d pain is still there evnthough it is my fault...exact on 3rd may,aftr comin bck from RFC,n aftr being lecture by my beloved sys ana,i quickly declared dat thng wit him.i juz wnt 2 do it fast,say it fast n......its hard 2 be tell..yeah,,obviously i still love him bt wut i do is juz for our own benefits..we had 2 focus in studies first n achieve wut we really want 2 b...i say it 2 him so fast..very fast indeed bcoz i cant hold back my tears anymore..i dont wnt him 2 hear..not evn once..n now i admit dat women r alwys being conquered by her emotions n dats wut happened 2 me dat day...i say without im thnkng wut it is...stupid of me ryte...such a moron 2 do dat thng 2wrds their beloved ones..when i got bck 2 my dorm,i thought i can handle it..yeah i know i can control when its d tyme 4 me 2 sleep,,,yup im lost!!!i cant sleep bcoz usually b4 sleep i'll txt or msgin not dat nyte..n aftr dat..n myb 4ever...its so pain..juz imagine if u r on my shoes,sleeping in an alone room without hvin ur room8,livin far from ur beloved parnts,wit d so unbelieveable+annoying studnts at there n hving no 1 2 dpnds on 2....wut would u really feel????n i decided 2 call him..such a dumb of me 2 call him bck aftr sayin 2 him dat theres no relationshp n no more contct 2 each still i call him....n his fren said dat hes already slept,bt i asked him 2 wake him up..n he decline my call..he decline it....he decline it....he decline it...n he shut off his phone..omg...dat was really a terrible nyte 4 me...n im neva cry so much lyke dat..i dunno on wut tyme i slept n its really hard 4 me 2 open my eyes on d next morning...mmg gilela...evry second i still remember bout him..bout our past moments..evrything i do,d memory will juz came n flashed back on wut we had i know d intention 4 me 2 hve dat condition is not nobody fault..its my willing...2 do it for d only HIM...where im juz realise it 4 wut i done b4 dis is really beloved sys ana also had said 2 me dat "ajie,,x slh kalo kte nk suke sbnyk mne laky yg kte nk sbb i2 ap yg brknan pd mte bnd 2 akn jdi slh kalo kte wt sumthng ngn suke kite kt org 2"....when she said dat,sumthng really zapping in my heart...sumthng undescribeable...n when i said 2 her how 2 ovrcome d feeling of always remember of him...she juz said dis "kte kalo da xkapel akn jdik org yg bosn,xtaw nk wt kte xleh nk overcome,tp kne replace bnd 2 ngn sumthng else which is HIS BOOK...n yeah i admit it dat aftr dat,every nite i will alwys read d Quran b4 i sleep n replace d thing dat im always hug with Quran too.d bear is still sleep wit its different now..yeah myb hes upset wit me bt thnks a lot 4 wut u had done on dat nye...its really givin me d spirit 2 leave dat whole thing...really2 open up my eyes 2 see d reality...n now im quite strong bt ist not 100% full yet..yela hw come u can 4get such a long-quite-lasting love dat u had ever xperience...ag2 mse xam is juz around d sufferin..sgt3...tiap mse nk nges..i felt so gembeng on dat alhmdulillah i manage 2 do it..aftr d incident,mny thngs seems 2 chnge in my lyfe...esp my phone...i got 2 phones bt neither of em i use xcept for my suboh alarm..haha...hey at least its still workin n useful 2 its master...hehe...until there r a few frens of mine dat scold me 4 not replyin their msg...sorie la kwn2 ku esp dayah,rara,zaza,sasa,cark,yong,ustad,cbz,acp,su-rty,farah n spe ag nth coz i dont hve any credit 2 rep u back...slalonye rjin toup bt now its not important now there is 1 thng dat i feared most is d prson dat got d same face lyke him...adoi..mmg xleh jmpela..dala sme klas seni...1 grup lak 2..bkn nk ske kt dy tp dy mmg easily leh wt aq trigt blek kt him...mmg kne tbhkn atyla..seriously, if he wnts me 2 show 2 him on how 2 colour d drwing,,i'll juz pretendin dat i dont know n ask him 2 ask others....dont ask me la!!!!!!!!!!!!ISH!!!i thnk dats all from me...

P\S:no 1 can ever replace u..dats my promise bt juz let d tyme being mke both of us matured n achive wut we really wnt..i hope u understnd dear...n sory 4 makin u buy dat phone juz 2 use it 2 msg wit me..n pliz 4give of my wrongdoing...

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